On a Trip with Euro Sponge #10

A sponge is a sponge.

The Euro sponge takes issue with such a claim. It has been traversing the difficult terrain of your disgustingly uncultured kitchen and must point out that in one simple sweep of the bread crumbs on the counter, it managed to teach your browning bananas several words of Swedish, whereas before, they were simply going to be sacrificed to make a banana split, or be massacred in the blender.
The Euro sponge is a member of the EU. It is worldly, and far superior to your 1970s plastic faux-granite countertops and colorless eggshell tiled floors. Nonetheless, it feels the need to protect your kitchen against communist aggressors, also known as the fruit flies. Since the best offense is a good defense, the Euro sponge will rid the kitchen of popular fruit fly terror cell hiding places: moldy bits of food caught in the sink drain, decaying fruit, problematic garbage storage. The Euro sponge is so effective in its cleanliness, it will even manage a total lifestyle makeover. Your slovenly studio in Wichita will be transformed into a lush loft on la Rue Saint-Honoré. You will no longer wear stretch-waist sweatpants everyday. You will become European.

After a tour of duty, your Euro Sponge is dishwasher safe, so you can refresh it again and again (it prefers being splashed with Evian, despite plastic water bottles waning in popularity). Does not disinfect surfaces. Rinse thoroughly before and after use. May be sterilized by boiling.