trust

I don’t trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn’t die
(Every time it happens, I think I’m going to die)

I don’t trust anything with two testicles.
(They say it only has one (an accident))

I don’t trust anything that has two eyes for watching or blinking
(Too much staring and I become nervous)

I don’t trust anything that walks on two legs
(We’ve started to crawl again)

I don’t trust anything named Todd
(Actually, it’s short for “Toddeus”)

I don’t trust anything that is not codependent
(What is the point if I’m not needed?)

I don’t trust anything with a third-person slogan
(Sally says that Sally prefers the third-person because it makes her feel as though
she truly knows herself)