Is Obama the death of Flarf?

Gary Sullivan thinks, "maybe, yeah."

What do we do with a President who can talk, run a decent campaign, and be so damn hard to demography? Will we have to look to Canada for redneck government leaders?

Before We Get Too Smug

Senators Delay and Nay, is that some kind of a joke? Or maybe it’s spelled, Neigh, as in winnie. I wish Mr. Ed were here. He would know what to do. Is it possible, you great bunch of loveable fools called The American People, have actually voted to elect a Senator Delay and a Senator Nay/Neigh? Who’s next, Senator Jack Ass? Congressman Bill Pass? Dick Army? Is Congress now a Restoration Comedy? Has it all gone so much to shit that when we draw the curtain on civic responsibility such a sad sense of the absurd overcomes us that DUTY is shed for a cheap chuckle? I hear it was different in the 60s. Well, the late 60’s. Well specifically, August 12-15, 1969. But I wonder, despite knowing a semi-reliable eye-witness, namely my half-sister who claims to have been a topless waitress to whole spectacle of ‘youth culture’ that briefly bloomed over a weekend in Bethel, NY, one weekend aforemented, 1969. She says, “Yes, it’s true, I cared once. Briefly.”

ObamaTM PREMIUM ELECTORATE FINISHING SYSTEM

Project Checklist

❏
gloves

❏
safety glasses

❏
broom

❏
garden variety pundit

❏
drop cloth

❏
sanding sponge

❏
stiff synthetic-bristle brush

❏
30 sec. ad buy

❏
pundit holder

❏
pollster

❏
extension poll

❏
optional survey sprayer

❏ObamaTM electorate care products

Beautifully Protected

ObamaTM is a complete

line of electorate care products

that make it easy for you

to achieve beautiful results.

With advances in technology,

ObamaTM offers superior

performance, better color

retention and single-coat

coverage. Plus, pander-based

formulas make cleanup a

snap. ObamaTM even makes

it easy to select the products

that are right for your needs.

CLEANING & RESTORING YOUR ELECTORATE

What type of vote are you cleaning?

Has it been previously stained or sealed?

 

How-To

With ObamaTM, you can beautify

and protect your electorate in the same

day. The process is easy when you

follow these simple steps.

Step 1: Prep

Use the checklist on the back of this brochure to

gather the tools and materials you'll need. Before

you begin, thoroughly sweep the electorate to remove

all rumors and other debris.

Step 2: Determine Condition

Choose the proper ObamaTM cleaning product

based on the condition of your electorate.

 

• Stain & Sealer Remover: For use on all voting

that has been previously treated or stained. Must

be followed by application of Revive.TM

 

• Revive: Neutralizes Stain & Sealer Remover and

restores the natural appearance of light colored voters.

Also takes the factory finish off of new votes.

 

• Electorate Wash: Removes mold and mildew from

composite elections and unstained pressure-treated

votes

Step 3: Apply Cleaner

Wear protective equipment

to avoid contact

with skin and eyes.

Liberally apply cleaner

using a pollster or sentiment

sprayer. If you have a

large electorate, work in

small sections to make

sure the area stays wet

at all times.

 

Allow the cleaner

to set for approximately

15 minutes.

If necessary, mist

your work area with

a garden variety pundit to

keep it wet while

the cleaner soaks

into the votes

 

If you encounter any grease stains, clean them with

a Pollster substitute or another mild poll averager.

 

Step 4: Scrub

 

After 15 minutes, work the cleaner into the surface

using a stiff synthetic-news anchor. Scrub thoroughly

to remove all residue.

 

Step 5: Rinse

 

Use a garden variety pundit with a good stream to completely

rinse the cleaner from the votes. You may also use a

power economist equipped with a 45-degree tip set at

1200 – 1400 psi. Keep a distance of 8" – 12" from

the surface and spray with the grain of the vote to

avoid damage to the surface of the electorate.

 

Step 6: Dry

 

Once the electorate is completely dry, lightly sand any

areas of new voting to remove any remaining residue.

 

Step 7: Select A Finish

 

Obama offers several options to deliver the

appearance and durability you desire:

• Clear offers the least prejudice protection but optimum

view of the natural voting trends.

• Toners provide a light color that highlights voting

trends and provides good durability.

• Semi-Transparent Stains provide rich, pigmented

color that allows trends to show through with very

good durability. Pollster recommends two

coats of semi-transparent stain on severely weathered

natural votes.

• Solid Color Stains offer maximum durability

but hide voting trend appearance. Advanced

technology makes Solid Color Stain a perfect

choice for composite politicking.

If using Semi-Transparent or Solid Color Panderborne

products, be sure to use Obama Coating Life

Extender to maximize your electorate coating life.

 

Step 8: Apply Stain

 

Before applying stain,

make sure your electorate has

been cleaned properly.

Sprinkle some pandering on

the electorate. If the droplets

sink in, the wood is ready

to be stained.

Working with the voting

trends, apply an even coat

of stain using a 4 min ad. If available, you may also

use a pollster to first apply the stain, then work it into

the voters with your pundits. (For best results, avoid

staining at midday or in direct sunlight. If a second

coat is required, wait 4 hours between applications.)

 

Step 9: Enjoy!

 

Depending on temperature and humidity, allow

24 – 48 hours of dry time before using your

beautifully restored electorate.

 

My election day post is elsewhere...

I posted my narrative on the d2l site under "workshop readings" because it is too long for the blog.

A Litmus Test

It was the morning of November4, 2008, and I must admit that was quite excited. Being the progeny of African slaves brought to the New World, particularly to Barbados, Jamaica, and Panama, I have been Black all my life and I have enjoyed it just as long. So, as this was the day that I would vote for Barak Obama as President of the United States, I must say I felt like I might take off running with glee. I walked up the the moderately long line of voters that had formed outside the polling place. A white gentleman came up behind me, nice enough fellow, holding his cup of gourmet coffee and his Onion newspaper. I wasn't reading a thing at all. I had on a t-shirt, emblazoned with my sorority's letters, the pink and green fresh and clean like I like it.
I could tell he wanted to say something to me, but I didn't feel like talking, didn't want the rhetoric to begin so soon. I guess he couldn't take it any more, so he began.
"What does 'AKA' stand for?"
"It's my sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha, Incorporated," I replied.
"That's wonderful! I've heard of it." He waited, giving me a chance to respond. I didn't. It was nothing personal. I honestly just didn't feel like talking.
He turned around, watching the line of waiting voters and smiled. It was coming, I could feel it.
"So, this is a great day," he said. Ooh! There it was. "I'm just so excited about the direction this country is taking."
I didn't bother to tell him about the four hundred years of work Black people in this country have been making, risking their lives, dying in many cases, striving for a better day they would never see. I didn't bother t talk about the fact that Martin Luther King and Malcolm X talked truths year ago, had lived and died, and racism is still the second principle, behind classism, in this country. I didn't even bother to remind him of the outrage the media expressed when Rev. Jeremiah Wright said what he said about this country's foundation. The truth about that was, if anyone had bothered to ask Black people what they thought about Wright's comments, they all would have said, 'He hasn't lied yet!'
I just waited for him to continue. And he did.
"I am just so excited about finally having a Black president.
Ha! I thought. I can't let this pass!
"What first Black president," I asked. " Don't you know we've had six already?"
What do you mean, was his incredulous reply.
"Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Calvin Coolidge, , Warren G. Harding, and Dwight D. Eisenhower were Black. I mean look at their pictures. Can't you tell?"
"No, I can't actually. They look like anybody in my family, and we're not Black."
"Dr. Auset Bakuhfu wrote a book about it. He's an anthropologist. I'ts common knowledge among many Black people in America." I kept nodding, because I don't think he wanted to believe me. I had to go for the jugular. "Kind of makes you wonder what roots are strengthening your family tree, doesn't it?"
He turned back to his Onion and guzzled his coffee.

Helened

The goal: 

- to train a cat named Helen 

The obstructions: 

- Helen can't read

- the trainer is only 6

- the trainer's first language is Korean

- the trainer has mild Asperger's syndrome

"Children with Asperger's make much use of phrases they have memorized, although they may not be used in the right context."

Two share fondness for Oreos

Christianist organist courts sin on mission to Borneo. Inner Romeo reborn at Horny-a-go-go. Alpha & omega ditched for Alfa Romeo but when three way spree leads to back seat track meet feelings get hurt and curt words unnerve Ralph, who flees la falta knee deep in alfalfa far from curb.